Thanks for the Advice...Drew

2006-04-20T20:11:00.000-07:00

And here I thought I was done...
Andrew Kaza Continues to Suck:

Andrew Kaza is like Lon Mabon, no matter how many times Oregon laughs at him and his moronic attempt at election glory, or as Kaza likes to call it, "May Glory," he still comes back for more (Andrew would call it November Glory, but he's never made it past the primaries).

I will give props where it is due, Andrew Kaza has got a big set on him. Less than two years after single-handedly pissing off the entire democratic voting population in the State of Oregon in his bid to unseat Democratic Congresswoman Darlene Hooley, he had the "testicular fortitude" to expect county commissioners to nominate him to a state legislative seat.

His "spin" on his blog and on BlueOregon.com was that the commissioners were scared and intimidated into their choices and avoided a "real" debate on "qualified" candidates. This seems to be a common theme in his campaigns, but was is always lacking is why anyone would want HIM making decisions over anything in their lives.

If he were to get elected to a position of authority, I, for one, would be up at night with worry. But I am not a man of just pontification, I have a solution.

I am taking a collection up to buy him out. He seems to like money, so Ill kick in $100 and if you feel the same, lets pay him to leave the state, or at the very least, leave our ballot forever.

This Just In...There is a 4th and 5th Reason Why Andrew Kaza Sucks

2005-06-08T01:14:00.000-07:00

This just came off the wire, and was sent to me via an anonymous source close to the man himself, Andrew Kaza. Here it is, the forth and fifth reason:

4. Andrew Kaza Sucks because only a amateur political mind such as Kaza's could OUTSPEND an incumbent democratic congresswoman in a primary and still lose 85 to 15. That's right, in the primary of 2004 Kaza's opponent spent less than $28k, a full $2k less than Kaza did. Granted she did have over a million in the bank. But that's not the amazing number when you think about it. She spent $0.50 per vote. Andrew Kaza spent 6 times that, or $3.00 per vote. He could have dropped campaign lit from a plane over Portland or took everyone out for a Cup o' Joe at Starbucks and probably got better results.

The question that remains for me is, what did she spent $28,000 on. Maybe once she looked at who she was up against her staff threw a large victory party or flew everyone to Europe for a month. I guess we'll never know.

5. Andrew Kaza Sucks because he actually believes that he is some huge force to reckon with. On several occations, the most recent posting not withstanding, Kaza has tried to insinuate that working for him was a huge break in the careers of his former employees and that poking fun at his expense now only reduces their chances later in life of attaining employment fulfillment. However, much like the Great and Powerful Oz, when the curtain is pulled back, what remains is a babbling, cookie, creepy old guy with some members of the jury still out as to how many marbles are actually rolling around upstairs.

Let me tell you, when I applied at the top law schools in the nation, or when I worked for the DNC, DPO and the National AFL-CIO in 2004, the first thing they asked me was, "Boy, I'm sure glad you got all that experience on the Kaza campaign," of course adding, "but since you failed to remain buddy-buddy with the man who broke federal laws during his campaign, we just cannot offer the position to you." ( Actually, the real conversation was something like, "What the hell were you thinking?" and "Is Kaza really as crazy as he sounds?" and my personal favorite, "Thanks for taking one for the team.")

Thanks For The Advice, Drew...

2005-06-07T21:25:00.000-07:00

While waiting to go to law school, here in Chicago, I had the fortunate luck of running into a dear old friend of mine from years past on the world wide web. His name is Andrew Kaza. Upon reading his blog of concerned citizens fighting the good fight in the name of mom and apple pie, I suddenly remembered something about him that seemed to have slipped my memory until now, and that is that...

Andrew Kaza sucks.

Why you ask? In what way does Andrew Kaza suck? Well I called a some other great minds on this one and sat down to mull over the top three reasons why Andrew Kaza sucks. Here is what we came up with:

1. Andrew Kaza sucks because he spends his time mulling over how to come back from the close election in 2004 that had everyone in the 5th District of Oregon biting their nails with anticipation, whereby he lost by a nose; Pinocchio's nose, or 85%. He's created a blog, where all 6 of his supporters can discuss some new idea that might allow him to garner 20% of the vote in 2006.

2. Andrew Kaza sucks because much like Pinocchio, Andrew Kaza is an habitual liar. He says has an impressive background in business, however, sources close to him say that is a lie. I can not imagine a company hiring, much less allowing a man to run a business that has a brain that thinks that spending $40,000 on an campaign where you have no supporters (Ok, well maybe 5 or 6) or staff and your poll numbers indicate that more people would vote for Saddam Hussein for their congressman than he, is a sound investment.

3. Andrew Kaza sucks because the 500,000 citizens of District 5, Oregon, all stood up, took a good look at Andrew Kaza and then ran screaming from the building like it was on fire. It is not often that you are presented with an example of how well our system of government works. For a patriot like me, when I see a result like this, a tear come to my eye, and with my hat over my heart, I salute the flag and say, "God Bless, America."

Please feel free to add your own comments and musings about why Andrew Kaza sucks.